The Power of Forgiveness
Yesterday, I spoke with you about offenses and forgiveness. The New Testament word translated as “offense” actually came from animal traps. This word was the stick upon which a piece of raw meat was placed. When an animal reached for the meat, the trap was sprung, and they were captured. It is very revealing that the word for “offense” basically means to “take the bait.” This is also why it is called “picking up” an offense.
Regarding forgiveness, in yesterday’s post, we mentioned that the New Testament word means “to release.” A good translation of Luke 6:37 would be “Release, and you will be released.” When we release the person who has offended or wounded us, we can then be released from the bruises and pain they caused us. Releasing them releases us. We also said yesterday that forgiveness is a choice - a decision - not a feeling.
My Testimony
When I was 17 years old, my family went through a very difficult time. The Board of Directors of the church my father had planted removed him and took the home where we were living. The house had been given to our family, but for tax purposes, it was put in the church’s name. We were left penniless and homeless. I didn’t know at the time that they had removed my father because of immorality. Shortly thereafter, he divorced my mother and married the other woman. Our family was devastated once again. Circumstances had gone from bad to catastrophic.
I became bitter at Dad for his role in this, and at the church that abandoned my family, especially the chairman of the church board. I focused much of my anger upon him, an anger that soon became a bitter hatred. After all, he kicked us to the street. I said on several occasions that I could not kill this man, but I would rejoice if someone else did.
Though it was irrational, I also became bitter at the church, in general. I associated my pain and my family’s disintegration with religion, and swore I would never darken the door of another church. Becoming very rebellious, I ran from God and turned to drugs and alcohol.
God was incredibly patient. He protected me and, for two years, waited patiently for me to come to a point where I could respond to Him again. I returned to Him and have enjoyed a wonderful walk with God since that time.
Around six months into my renewed walk with the Lord, He began dealing with me about my hatred for the man I had blamed for many of our problems. I heard Holy Spirit very clearly telling me I needed to forgive him. I did not angrily resist the Lord, but I did not believe I could ever truly do so. The bitterness I had against this man was so strong, I had no confidence whatsoever that I would be able to forgive him; I told the Lord this.
Holy Spirit was gentle with me, not condemning. His promptings always came as a gentle nudge deep in my heart. He was, however, insistent and persistent: “You will have to do this if you want My best for you and to truly be free from all of the pain this caused.” When my heart softened to the point that I was willing to try, Holy Spirit began teaching me how to do it. Some of what He taught me I shared in yesterday’s post.
He revealed to me that I could have emotional feelings of anger, hurt, etc., and still choose to forgive from my heart, overruling my emotions. As an example, He said, “You don’t like to get up early some days and go to work, but you do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do; it’s your responsibility. You don’t like to exercise, but you do it anyway because you know that you need to.” Then came the final blow, “Jesus did not want to go to the Cross, but He did so anyway, for the joy He knew it would produce later” (Hebrews 12:2). “Choose to do this because it’s right, even though you don’t want to. Don’t allow your feelings to rule you. If you will make this choice and maintain the decision daily, I’ll be able to release you from all the pain, resentment, and hatred. Your responsibility is to let go; it’s My responsibility to heal your emotions and release you from every effect of this. Choose life!”
Somehow, the dots connected in my thinking. I realized I could overrule my “feelings.” I didn’t have to “feel” like it, and I didn’t need any positive feelings toward this man. I simply needed to “release” him to God, trusting Him to do what was right. I did so daily, saying something along these lines (it’s important to say it), “I choose to release David [not his real name] from all he did to hurt my family.” Every time he came to mind, and unpleasant feelings began rising up inside of me, I would say it again, “I choose to release David from all he did to hurt my family.” Some days I had to do this multiple times. After a couple of weeks, he was rarely coming to my mind, and when he did, I felt less emotion. I continued this process. A week or two after that, he came to mind again, and I realized that I felt no pain or anger whatsoever. I was shocked! I knew God had released me from all the effects of what had occurred two years earlier.
The Proof
However, Holy Spirit wanted to show me that I was truly healed. One Sunday night, my mom and I were returning home from a church service and stopped at a local restaurant to grab a bite to eat. There were no tables available, and we were waiting for one when I noticed this particular man and his wife seated across the room. He noticed us at the same time. I also saw that he and his wife were seated at a table for four people, and two of the chairs were empty. He jumped to his feet and headed in our direction. Well, I thought to myself, he wants to say hello. I’m about to find out if this is real. He wanted to do more than just say hello. “Would the two of you like to join us at our table?” he asked.
“Sure,” said my mother, “that’s very kind of you.”
I kept waiting for that angry, bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach that used to surface when I thought of him. I expected at least a few negative emotions. But there were none. I was not having to feign being nice to him while burying my anger and hatred. It was actually easy - it felt normal to treat him with kindness. I felt no pain whatsoever. I thanked the Lord for delivering me from my chains of bitterness. No, this man did not become my friend, but he was no longer my enemy.
Friends, regardless of the level of your pain, who hurt you, or when it occurred, God can and will do this for you. Let’s pray.
Pray with me:
Father, it is impossible to go through life and not have many opportunities to forgive. You said offenses will come. You did not tell us to forgive only if we felt like it; You simply said to do so. You never ask us to do anything You will not enable us to do. So we choose this day to honor Your word and obey it from our hearts, our spirits, regardless of how our emotions feel. As we obey what You have said, our emotions and feelings must come into alignment with the Word-based decision we make. They must…and they will. As we release, we will be released.
Father, we ask for tremendous grace to everyone praying this prayer with us now. Give them the grace to forgive and release. Let a process of healing begin for those who have been abandoned, abused, rejected, betrayed, and wronged in any way. Release a strong revelation that forgiveness is a choice we can all make. May today mark a new beginning for them, and all the negative results of what they have suffered be reversed. Let this begin today.
We ask that You heal bodies through this. Mend hurting hearts and minds. Tear down the walls we’ve built to protect our emotions. Cause victims to be victimized no longer. Let the abused go free. Release captives, mend broken hearts, and restore hope. We ask that today truly be a new beginning. And we ask it all in the name of the great healer, Jesus. Amen.
Our decree:
We declare that we will walk in forgiveness to all.
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